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NAUGHTYNUMBERNINE

He shoots; He scores!
Articles Posted: 24  Links Seeded: 10
Member Since: 8/2010  Last Seen: 5/18/2012

Me: @!$%#?

Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:55 PM EDT
, , ,
By naughtynumbernine
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*All 'quotes' were restricted to the confines of my cranium*

I came to a stop at a red light near a grocery store on my drive home from work today. The light turned green, and the car in front of me wasn't moving anywhere. I'm not a honker, so I asked myself,

'WTF is this guy's deal?'.

I then noticed that he was letting a truck exit the grocery store parking lot and establish itself on the road.

'Is he serious? We've got a green...'

I was becoming increasingly impatient. The truck accelerates and the car in front of me remains...OK. Seriously? He's now letting an SUV onto the road.

'WTF am I? Chopped liver? What if someone gets stuck behind me cause of this guy?'

I was seriously irritated. He finally accelerates and I can't help but swear at the guy in my head to release some steam.

'You @!$%#ing do-gooder!'

...

'Wait, what the @!$%# did I just say?'

I was a bit taken aback about my choice of words. I just replaced, "@!$%#", "douchebag", etc. with "do-gooder" as though it was a bad thing. Yeah the guy was driving like an idiot, but he was still being nice (albeit not to me).

Why did I call the guy a do-gooder like being a do-gooder was an @!$%# thing to do? Can I no longer appreciate kindness? Have I become so callous to the thought of good works at my expense that I look down on those who perform them? Is something wrong with me? Am I an @!$%#?

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naughtynumbernine

What's...happening...to me...

  • 3 votes
Reply#1 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:54 PM EDT
Vlad's dog

Driving does bring out the worst in us all NN9.

We come from Pittsburgh and they do a thing called the Pittsburgh left where folks let out the first driver making a left turn at the light. it is a habit for us. Now that we don't live there we still do it and folks making a left don't understand as we motion for them to go and the drivers behind beep at us. We end up laughing because we confuse everyone with our Pitsburgh habit. LOL

  • 3 votes
#1.1 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:14 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

folks let out the first driver making a left turn at the light.

That's a new one. I just can't get over the fact that I called the guy a do gooder, like being nice was somehow on par with being an @!$%#. Maybe I should stop overanalyzing.

  • 2 votes
#1.2 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:19 PM EDT
Reply
etva

We all have those days, NN9, when we're stressed and at the end of our patience. Give yourself a break - you noted the irony to yourself, and that's more than most people can manage on those kinds of days.

  • 3 votes
Reply#2 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:07 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks etva. I guess I was able to detect how odd my expletive was. I can take some solace from that.

  • 3 votes
#2.1 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:21 PM EDT
Kavatica

A lot of people would not have noticed. You are still alright :)

  • 3 votes
#2.2 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:40 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks Kavatica. I'm starting to think there might still be some hope for me.

  • 2 votes
#2.3 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:11 PM EDT
Reply
Dare To Hope

What's...happening...to me...

LOL!! That was such a Jim Carey moment I had to laugh out loud.

  • 3 votes
Reply#3 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:20 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks DTH. I'm glad. I pictured Jim Carrey going through that whole scenario, he could make it pretty funny...I wonder who else could make it work...

  • 3 votes
#3.1 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:33 PM EDT
Dare To Hope

If you have not seen Liar Liar and want a good laugh, that very scene is in it. And I bet you made it work while you were asking, lol.

  • 2 votes
#3.2 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:51 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Is that when he turns his hand into "The Claw!"? Or is it when he's realizing he can't lie? I forget. Anyway I love that movie. Definitely a classic Carey flick. I love it when he goes on that tirade/roast of his coworkers.

I bet you made it work while you were asking, lol.

The expression on my face as I thought 'What the @!$%# did I just say?' probably was pretty comical.

  • 2 votes
#3.3 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:57 PM EDT
Dare To Hope

When he realizes he can't lie. The roast was hysterical, his secretary was too, the out takes were as funny as the movie, gotta love his humor!

  • 2 votes
#3.4 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:01 PM EDT
Reply
Anna-90776

I know a guy who drives a tour bus for a living. He's at a major intersection; albeit in a small town and he has a red light. It's raining. An elderly man using a cane begins to cross the street, taking itty bitty steps. The driver knows he's never going to get across while the light is still red. He puts on the four way flashers and gets out of the bus with an umbrella and literally walks the man across the street. And he gives him the umbrella. Traffic stayed stopped all around due to the huge flashing bus. Those in front in their lanes have a bird's eye view of the deed. His Company receives three calls the next day saying what a kind act they had witnessed. One caller said it made her cry.

I always remember that story when I am on the opposite side of the kindness giver:) And of course when I am the receiver I try to pay it forward soon. I share your frustration and also noted right away at heart you knew it was an ok thing too..lol You've got a good heart towards "do-gooders!" It was after all your second thought:) Great post!

  • 7 votes
Reply#4 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:02 PM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks Anna, that means a lot. And thank you for sharing that story. That's so cool! That definitely brightened my day. That's the sort of thing that people need to hear about more often.

  • 5 votes
#4.1 - Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:09 PM EDT
Reply
Mrs D-1475814

I totally enjoyed your article. A very good lesson for us all. :)

  • 6 votes
Reply#5 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:25 AM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Thanks Mrs D, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  • 3 votes
#5.1 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:11 PM EDT
Reply
HollyKl

LOL! I think we all have these lapses NN9. If you weren't at all worried about what you said or why you said it, then you might be approaching @!$%# territory. :)

  • 6 votes
Reply#6 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:34 AM EDT
naughtynumbernine

Point taken. I'm feeling somewhat safely removed from the A-hole zone now.

  • 3 votes
#6.1 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:13 PM EDT
Reply
Kearney Outlaw

Don't let your momentary lapse of limited vocabulary fool you. The word you were looking for was not "do-gooder". You were just so incensed that you seized upon the wrong word in your mind.

Next time, try:

"You @!$%#wadsonsuvbitchincabbagebrainedasswipe! Geddouttamyway!!!"

Much more appropriate. And when you drive around them, extending a finger in what is universally known as a Hawaiian good luck sign, only to discover that the driver is a kind little old lady, smile and add, "And have a nicefriggindayyaoldbat!"

I hope this helps.

  • 5 votes
Reply#7 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:55 AM EDT
naughtynumbernine

universally known as a Hawaiian good luck sign

...I think I owe a few people in Hawaii an apology...

  • 4 votes
#7.1 - Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:16 PM EDT
grump in NM

KO and NN9, when someone shows me the Hawaiian good luck sign I just tell them "not now, maybe later".

  • 3 votes
#7.2 - Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:34 PM EDT
Kearney Outlaw

LOL! It is an invitation!

  • 2 votes
#7.3 - Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:41 PM EDT
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